by Fredrick H. Cokacola

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Unoriginal.
Hey, remember Fern Gully?
That, with explosions.

Wolfman

What? Lycanthropy?
Benicio Del Toro?
Sounds like fun, at least.

From Paris With Love

What the fuck is this?
Get this shit out of my face.
Johnny, Be Not Proud.

Crazy Heart

Jeff Bridges comes back.
Country-Fried rockstar antics.
The Dude Abides, Man.

The Tooth Fairy

Stop doing this, Dwayne.
you deserve better than this
great in Southland Tales

The Book of Eli

Samurai Action
Post-apocalyptic flick
Dude, Gary Oldman!

Up In The Air

George Clooney is raw
another Fantastic gig
probs get best picture

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel

David Cross needs cash
too easy to make fun of
Fuck fuck fuck fuck shit

Disclaimer: The reviewer, writing under a pseudonym, claims in no way to have seen even some of these movies. However, he dares you to find his advice and assumptions inaccurate. He fucking dares you.